19 4 / 2014

thecatsmeow90:

Working on my paper is hard on both of us.

(via ironically-howelling)

19 4 / 2014

(Source: pleatedjeans, via orgasm)

19 4 / 2014

(Source: pleatedjeans, via orgasm)

18 4 / 2014

18 4 / 2014

17 4 / 2014

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • 1: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • 1: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • 1: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • 1: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • 1: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • 1: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • 1: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • 1: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • 1: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • 1: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • 1: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • 1: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • 1: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • 1: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • 1: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • 1: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • 1: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • 1: Fuck the government.
  • 1: Fuck the school board.
  • 1: Close the door.
  • 1: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • 1: I love puns.
  • 1: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • 1: Please shut up.
  • 1: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • 1: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • 1: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • 1: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • 1: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • 1: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • 1: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • 1: They act like I care what they think.
  • 1: I hate homework.
  • 1: I have decided to become a politician.
  • 1: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

17 4 / 2014

17 4 / 2014

dweebscar:

inwhichifeelallthefeels:

cyanide123:

dweebscar:

dweebscar:

what if giraffes lived underwater

image

what a majestic creature

It would explain nesie

Oh my God. I have been waiting literally over a year to use this gif, and before I do, I want to thank you for the opportunity.

pardon

(via ironically-howelling)

17 4 / 2014

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

(Source: johto-jordan, via ironically-howelling)

17 4 / 2014

yes-i-am-lucifer:

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love meĀ 

we love you pete

(via ironically-howelling)

17 4 / 2014

strangersthatsmell:

auntytany:

lostbeasts:

i will forever be dumbfounded by the SHEER SIZES of some prehistoric animals i mean

image

holy

image

friggin

image

shit

image

i still think HORSES are big but

image

would you

image

just

image

cOULD YOU IMAGINE

image

FUCK

image

That Edward scissorhands dinosaur though

(via hotboypolice)

17 4 / 2014

waweyn:

She just died like 17 times in that fight

waweyn:

She just died like 17 times in that fight

(Source: loboculiao, via ironically-howelling)

17 4 / 2014

(via orgasm)

17 4 / 2014

lameborghini:

ive been annoyed ever since i was born

(via hotboyproblems)

15 4 / 2014

blastortoise:

dont talk shit about my shitty country only people who live here can do that

(via relahvant)